#69

Insert super clever post number related joke here. Oh right, those don't really exist. Too bad.

I'm actually currently employed, and have been for the past 2 months or so! That's a happier situation than during the last post. Unfortunately, this position is only going to last about 2 more weeks and after that I'll be technically unemployed for a month. Then, I will start permanent employment at a daycare.

I've been struggling with my energy levels and mood a lot lately, I barely have enough energy and concentration to get through a whole day. Everything is tiresome and I don't really enjoy most things. I technically quit smoking in the spring, but I have still been smoking on some weekends etc. and almost picked up my earlier habit completely the past couple of weeks. I felt like it helped with my job-related stress, but I don't know. Maybe the current funk I'm in is to do with nicotine withdrawals? I sure hope so. In a regular year, I'll have a period of weeks where I'm in a more "depressive/depressed" mood (I have never been diagnosed or felt the need to make sure with a psychologist/psychiatrist, therefore quotation marks) where I'm low energy and during really bad years I have some suicidal ideation, but it's usually in the spring? So I have no idea what's up with this, I'm usually very content in the winter. It's frustrating.

Part of it is also because I'm expecting to hate my new permanent job. It's with young children, an age group I don't particularly adore, and I'm not very proficient at dealing with them either. At best I'll be able to make it up as I go along. I'll also be moving to another city by myself, and the prospect of living away from my friends is not something I'd consider a positive in accepting this position. But no one else would have me, and in the current economy I'd feel terrible turning down a job opportunity that was literally served to me on a silver platter. Sigh. Let's hope it goes in the direction of the best case scenario, because otherwise next spring is going to be utter hell for me.

Well, onto happier subjects!! I bought a membership for Worldcon 2017 months ago (sometime around February-ish?) and I've been planning all sorts of cool cosplays for it:

- Star-Lord 4.0 / I'll try to finish all my improvements by then
- Coma the Doof / With flame-throwing guitar prop! And complementary flame-design ukulele to carry inside the con!
- Brienne of Tarth / I'd really REALLY like to cosplay Brienne! She's one of my favourite GoT characters. I also feel like her armour (basically a breastplate, shoulder plates and boots?) could be craftable with my current prop-building skills.
- Orc Arch-Mage / I'd be using my pre-existing Skyrim Arch Mage costume, just fix up some parts of it. And I would carry the Krosis mask instead of wearing it to avoid overheating, and wear orc makeup and fangs instead!
- costume 5 (I have like 6 different options lined up but I might not carry any of them out! It's possible that I'll just have a day of Not Dressing Up As Anything. Maybe the first day, so I can figure out the layout of the place, prop rules and regulations and such things first? Hm. I'll have to consider it)

Also, Jay Gatsby is bringing Party Like Gatsby to my city! I'm so pumped. I can finally justify buying a men's threepiece suit in black too, heh. I'm going to try and find secondhand items that would at least somewhat match the 1920's theme, but I'll be happy with almost anything that I can modify to my own size, really. At least I already have a white shirt, acceptable shoes (if I can't find nice shiny ones), elastics for sleeves, a fedora and an old pocket watch that I could incorporate! I'll try to match everything as well as I can, but I don't want to be spending super unreasonable amounts of money on this costume, since they're not going to forbid my entrance if the clothes aren't 100% theme-accurate or anything. I already know that at least one of my friends is definitely coming, so I bet we'll have a lot of fun!

For now I think that's all I wanted to write about.

Bye!

#68

What happened here, ha. I got so busy with graduation and everything that I haven't updated in a really long time! Oh well.

I ended up abandoning the Groot-cosplay-for-Tracon-2016 idea, I'll try to build that cosplay for a later event (I'm hoping I could do it for Worldcon 2017, but we'll see). I ran out of time and money...

In the meantime, I fell back into the realm of kpop, and I fell hard. Basically I randomly ran across a group called Seventeen and they pretty much took over my life immediately and here I am 10 months later and probably thousands poorer. But supporting them makes me happy and gives me something to concentrate on although I still don't have a job, which would otherwise be an absolutely terrible bummer. Well, can't be helped by being miserable.

I did one camp as assistant camp leader, and I'm leaving for another camp next Monday. There's always some pay involved, so that's nice. And it's technically work in my own field, so it's always a bonus. The bureau of employment is paying me some support too. I'm doing okay. I wish I had something more relevant to do with my time, but no one even wants to call me for an interview, it seems. I have a possible solution lined up that I'm looking into this summer, so it's fine. I'll try to find work through an agency that "rents out" workers for short periods of time, in the field of social work. I don't have much experience working with children, but I'm sure I'll be able to get at least a few days' work in through there. Once I have a job, I could possibly move into my own apartment and then I'd have more leeway to earn a living without screwing myself over with the unemployment benefits... Sigh.

I did build Nux for Desucon, though! It looked great, or so I think. I didn't go all-out with the SFX makeup, and even then the cosplay took me about 4 hours to put on and 1,5 hours to take off... and the sportstape bindings I had on tore off some skin as well. But I'll do it a bit more sensibly next time, and at least I know my limit when it comes to how long a high-stress cosplay such as Nux can be worn. Sitting was also slightly troublesome, because I couldn't breathe at 100% all of the time, since I put on the bindings while standing up. I didn't really get any proper pictures, but I'll make sure to get some from Tracon! Hopefully I'll have at least a Capable cosplaying along, but we'll see ~

For now, bye!