#10

The printer next to me is apparently trying to accept a call at the moment? The mysteries of modern technology.

Anyway, A's graduation party was yesterday. I barely finished her book in time, I drew the last illustration at 3.07 pm and left for the party at 3.12. I would never get anything done without deadlines! I always cut things very close. But she seemed to love the book and so it was worth it. I'm really glad, too, that I managed to finish it and it turned out so well! Her party was fun otherwise, too. We met with a couple friends at Malmi and bought her flowers (I bought a lily branch because she mentioned she liked them) and then went to the party location. The people came and went in turns, and in the end there were about 8 or 9 of us at the after party. The "official" party had started at 4 pm and we eventually continued to a bar just before midnight. We went to Club Vatican because of the convenient location and free entry. A certainly enjoyed herself, and I got to talk to some friends of hers I hadn't really known before, too. Very cool. We left with A and J to A's big sister's apartment to sleep, eventually. We couldn't be bothered with public transportation so we took a cab. Thankfully we'd left early enough for there to be no line at the taxi spot! After waking up, we went to McDonald's and then I got home.

I had an assignment due today on the Old Testament.... I slept through half of the afternoon and drove my sister home only to realize that the deadline wasn't, in fact, at midnight but at 8 pm. A bit of a bummer. I wish I'd realized to check it earlier, I would've done it during the week or not taken so many naps today... Oh well. Failing to make it at a deadline hasn't exactly been an uncommon problem in my Diak career. I've also completely neglected our assignments for Swedish and the acknowledgement of previous studies, which I was supposed to do for English. Oh well.

Mother is also on my case about getting a summer job. Realistically, I know my own laziness is the actual reason for me never having a job - or rather, that I'd rather have no money than to go through the trouble of finding work. I'm aware it's an extreme privilege. I don't know, maybe I'm just a stuck-up middle class child who's grown up in a bubble and has no touch to the real world? Very likely. But I can hardly tell that by myself, huh? To be honest, as my views for the future are so negative, I don't actually have any ambition whatsoever, for anything. So long as I can mooch off my parents, why on earth would I use my time to work? It's not like I need to save for anything beyond age 35 or whatever time I pick to die.

This went wildly off topic, but my point was, even if the fault in the matter is mine in actuality, complaining about not working towards these things hardly makes me less anxious about the job-searching process. I have no problem with working per say, I'd just prefer being shown whatever work needs to be done to trying to think up some myself. If I was a firm believer in Freud's theories, that mentality could probably be traced back to my mother's treatment of me, couldn't it? Maybe that's something I should write about in I'll Sleep When I'm Dead? It could alternately be thoughts on how my own and others' psyche works as well as for venting, because I know that at least the stuff I think about concerning my own mental issues and difficulties are closely related to things I find painful to think about.

I need some new jeans. I only have two pairs of skinny jeans (which I've been wearing almost all the time this autumn - half because I like the look of them, half because they look less bummed than most of my other types of pants and so I wore mostly them to my trainee workplace) and the black pair has a huge, gaping hole at the crotch. Thank god it has decent waist/leg inch measurements so I can just pick up a similarly sized pair from Seppälä, H&M or JC. I'm thinking I'll go buy the jeans on the same trip with the latex ear purchase and when I go look for fabrics for my elf outfit.

In other news, while I was writing this post, the printer continued to try and take the call 9 times.

Good night.